Q. My friends tell me that my relationship with my girlfriend is only infatuation. I believe that I really love her. How can I tell the difference?

A. Your friends sound like very responsible young people. Not too many would have the courage to say to you what they are saying. I would not cast off their evaluation lightly. Often those not emotionally involved in a situation can see the issues in a clearer light.

Here are some guidelines that I’ve found helpful to young people who are evaluating courtship.

1. Have both of you surrendered your lives to Christ?
2. Is it established first and foremost on a spiritual basis? Do you spend much time in prayer, Bible study, discussing spiritual themes, attending worthwhile Christian gatherings together, or witnessing together?
3. Are you protective of the sacred moral character of your girlfriend? Or do you sometimes pressure her to break down her womanly reserve?
4. Have you counseled with your parents and other godly adults for their wise counsel?
5. Have both of you discovered God’s direction for your life and if so are your callings compatible?
6. Have you completed your preparation for your life callings?
7. Have you carefully discovered whether in other ways your interests are compatible—recreation, family expectations, economic expectations?

Remember it is indeed a solemn step to draw out the affections of a young lady before you have carefully evaluated your own spiritual standing and have strong evidence of the young lady’s conversion.

Vol.1 No.9

Q. We are a young couple that has been married for two years. We thought we were happily married, but recently we’ve had difficulties. I never dreamed that this would happen to us. What can we do to keep our marriage from falling apart?

A. Your situation, sadly, is not uncommon. Often after the euphoria of the first short period of marriage, many couples start to see a fading of the love-relationship. I cannot tell you why this is happening to you specifically, but you might look at a number of things. Are both of you placing your lives before the Lord each morning, asking Him to take your life and to control it according to His will? Are you practicing a day-by-day study of His Word? Are you having family worship together, morning and evening? Do you lovingly pray for each other?

There is only one way that an invincible marriage can be established and that is when both of you have an unbroken love-relationship with Jesus. That can, in turn, only occur when in prayer and daily study of the Word you grow to know Him better. Every day you must ask Christ to take your life, and work His miracle of grace in you to keep you from failing. Every day you must commit your marriage to Him.