Vol.1 No.2
Q. My boyfriend is still married and we’ve just found out that I’m pregnant. What shall we do?
A. I take it that the father of your unborn child is still married to another woman. The Bible teaches that you are involved in an adulterous relationship (see Matthew 19:3-6). Yet, I want to uphold to you a wonderful Savior who forgives sins and takes away your guilt. I think of the answer of Jesus to the woman accused of adultery. When all her accusers had left, there was the most compassionate words of Jesus, “Neither do I condemn thee” (John 8:11). Though you and your “boy friend” have sinned, nevertheless, Jesus stands by to assure you He doesn’t condemn. What love. What compassion!
Yet, this love was so great that He could not stop there. His next loving command was, “Go and sin no more.” Jesus knew that to continue in sin was to retain feelings of guilt, depression, regret, low self-image, frustration and conflict, and in His infinite love He gave her the only helpful command there could be.
I believe if Jesus was beside you now, He would give you the same counsel. Remember, you do not have to sever this relationship in your own strength. Jesus will be with you all the way. Now, your situation is complicated by the fact that you are pregnant. Let me suggest some helpful steps to take.
- If your mother does not know of your pregnancy, tell her.
- Counsel with someone whom you can trust as to what steps you can take for the sake of the baby. Discuss some possible solutions.
- Keep the baby yourself and do all to bring him/her up to love and live for Jesus. It will not be easy, but some day the Lord may give you a fine Christian husband to help. But, evaluate whether you are mature enough, and have the resources, to do this. Seek advise on this from wise older Christians.
- Consider adopting the child to a relative that you know you can trust to bring the baby up in the love of Jesus.
- Consider adopting to someone else. I would suggest a private adoption where you can be sure the child will be brought up in a Christian home.
- You may consider entering a Christian home for unwed mothers. There are quite a few of these and your Church could probably help you get in touch with one.
You might have considered an abortion. I cannot recommend this option. Sometime I plan to write on this topic in more detail. But, let me say briefly that I believe God does love and care for the little one you are carrying. Read Luke 1:15,41; Psalms 139:16; Isaiah 49: 1; and Jeremiah 1: 5 to see the value God places upon the unborn child. I also have witnessed the guilt and anxiety of those who have aborted, and if they could, they would urge you not to.
Vol.3 No.3 
Q. My husband and I have been separated for eighteen months. Shortly after our marriage I discovered that he was addicted to pornographic books and videos. Though he sincerely asked God for help, he cannot seem to refrain from this. Isn’t this fornication the Bible talks about? Don't I have biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage?
A. Tragically, the case of your husband is very common today, even among men who claim to be Christians. I can fully understand the frustration that you are experiencing, however, I cannot go beyond the words of Scripture in regard to divorce and remarriage. As I understand the Bible, the only basis for divorce and remarriage is physical adultery which, apparently, your husband has not engaged in.
You say that he sincerely asks God for help. Many times we expect God somehow to take away the temptation, but the Bible makes it clear that if we sincerely come to God He will give us the strength to gain the victory.
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10: 13).
But the text that has greatest relevance to your husband is James 4:7: "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
There can be victory for your husband, but every morning he must pray to God asking the Lord to give him the strength for victory. Then he himself must exert all his will power to resist this temptation by not going near a video store or a magazine rack where he can buy this pornographic material.
God will provide the added strength that he needs. |
